It seems that when auto-detect is not enabled, parallels doesn't distingush between enabling and disabling a USB device in the Device menu. If you are trying to UNcheck a device, parallels seems to act as though you are enabling it again. As an example, manually enable two devices. Then try to disable one. You'll get an error about the device being busy. Now try to enable it again or any enable other device - you'll get an error about all of your USB deviced being used. Even if you unplug the devices at this point, they hang onto the USB connection and so you have to basically restart to plug in any devices.
USB Disconnect I have found the same problem - I have a smart card reader that works on my macmini but when i try to use it with my mac book or imac it comes up with the dreaded 'wait 5-10 seconds' bollox. We need a disconnect device option please parallels